The Three Musketeers

December 14, 2009

And of course, there are four of them by the end.

Athos, Porthos, Aramis, and D’Artagnan are pretty unlikable dudes. They’re supposed to be the heroes of this story, but I found myself much more drawn to the female characters that are carelessly tossed to the side. And I mean that almost literally. Whenever a musketeer meets a new woman that takes his fancy, he gets rid of his old crush by completely fucking them over, eventually getting a few of them killed. Our heroes also duel to the death over vain and irrelevant things, spend ridiculous amounts of money, beg when they can’t be frivolous anymore, own “lackeys” that are basically slaves whose lives are risked on whims, and practice copious amounts of animal cruelty.

But even with all that, I was still entranced by the novel. Mostly because of the villain in the last half: the Countess de Winter, aka: Milady. She is one badass motherfucker. She’s a henchman of the Cardinal, who’s the overarching villain. He sends her on his evil bidding and for no reason I can see besides loyalty, she’s always ready to comply. She steals diamonds, seduces men who she then gets to stab people, escapes near hanging, is married to two men at once, and carries poison in her ring! Until the Countess shows up, I was getting a little bored (which is why I picked up the reader) but as soon as she starts flirting with D’Artagnan I was totally in.

This is one of those books that you put so much attention into that you can’t really afford not to like it. I find that with longer books I’m much more likely to fall in love with them over the long time I spend reading them. This was not the case, however, with Moby Dick. I didn’t start liking Moby Dick until I started reading extensive criticism on it.


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